Confession is always weakness; the grave soul keeps its own secrets, and takes its own punishment in silence.
Dorothy Dix, 1861-1951

忏悔永远是在示弱,庄严的灵魂保守着自己的秘密,在寂静中承受自己的惩罚

Criminal Minds Season 6 Episode 17:Valhalla(2011.03.02)

Criminal Minds S6 E17:Valhalla

Live Like A Hero

Skin by Dorothy Allison

Our lives are not small.  Our lives are all we have, and death changes everything.  The story ends, another begins.  The long work of life is learning the love for the story, the novels we live out and the characters we become.  In my mama’s photos is a world of stories never told:  my stolid aunt a teasing girl, my sisters with their mouths open to laugh, and hidden in the pile, a snapshot of me at twenty-two, dark and furious, with Cahty’s pale face solemn over one shoulder.  Disappeared, anonymous, the story we might have told then remade.  She has become legend, I human in grief, and full of the need to grab what I can and hold on, to remake death and begin another tale.

***

I wear my skin only as thin as I have to, armor myself only as much as seems absolutely necessary.  I try to live naked in the world, unashamed even under attack, unafraid even though I know how much there is to fear.  What I have always feared is being what people have thought me—my stepfather’s willing toy, my mother’s betrayer, my lover’s faithless tease, my family’s ultimate shame, the slutty racist, stupid cracker dyke who doesn’t know what she is doing.  Trying always to know what I am doing and why, choosing to be known as who I am—feminist, queer, working class, and proud of the work I do—is as tricky as it ever was.  I tell myself that life is the long struggle to understand and love fully.  That to keep faith with those who have literally saved my life and made it possible for me to imagine more than survival, I have to try constantly to understand more, love more fully, go more naked in order to make others as safe as I myself want to be.  I want to live past my own death, as my mother does, in what I have made possible for others—my sisters, my son, my lover, my community—the people I believe in absolutely, men and women whom death does not stop, who honor the truth of each others’ stories.

和合二圣

寒山问拾得:“如果世间有人无端的诽谤我、欺负我、侮辱我、耻笑我、轻视我、鄙贱我、厌恶我、欺骗我,我要怎么做才好呢?”

拾得回答说:“你不妨忍着他、谦让他、任由他、避开他、耐烦他、尊敬他、不要理会他,再过几年,你且看他。”

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